just myself

non-excitable.

2009-08-29T04:00:00.002+08:00

burping & farting,
tummy is aching.

stretching & cracking,
back is breaking.

sneezing & blowing,
nose is running.

turning & twisting,
should be sleeping.

yes, you can't trust me to be in good health.
bleargh.

hip hip hurray

2009-08-09T21:39:00.007+08:00

Finally an update has arrived.
So the week has been filled with many half-days for me.

And Thursday was just plain amazing.
It was the NDP performance.
Went awesome, overall.
Very awesome indeed.
Proud to say that my juniors are awesome.
With practice of just a little more than a week, we managed to give the best show of all the previews.
=)

And thus the next day, was another hell of a happy day for me.
Well, not so, when it started.
But it picked up.
With an outing to Northpoint with Tobi and Jenny and Jeremy, during the 3rd meeting.
Yup, there you go, another skip-the-class day.
Haha.
=)

And there you have it.
The end.

P/s: Happy Birthday Dear Singapore & All You Singaporeans.
=)

2 makes a couple.

2009-07-31T23:17:00.001+08:00

So before the day end, I'd better post this up.
To Jeremy Leow.
Thank you for being there for me.
For caring, for your love, and for you continual effort to make me a happy girl.
The 2 months with you have just been awesome.
Even though it seems like it flew so fast time-wise, being with you have felt like forever.
I love you very much.

Sorry if the post is kind of cheesy for your liking.
But this is a serious case, with a serious face.

xoxo.

fml

2009-07-27T11:26:00.003+08:00

I love my life.
Because 85% of the things that happen to me, are against me.

=,="

Night at Ignite.

2009-07-25T00:03:00.003+08:00

Phew, and I thought for a moment there that Blogger would still be a bitch to me.
Anyways, sorry, the above picture, I know.
Not that nice, too much noise. (sorry for the photography terminology.)
But I like it, because the boy looks busy.
*Jump jump*
He was, seriously.
But I'm glad I still got to spend few minutes with him here and there.
I geram at you.
Heh.
*Big Grin.*

Anyways, Ignite!
Amazing, for the first 2 bands, especially when I get to spend time with the lovely Denisia, Aminah & Azura.
I love you girls so much, and it was so fun.
Yes, we shall sleep with a smile on our faces!
And I must kind of emphasize on "Amazing, for the first 2 bands".
'Cause after that, it was getting just a little too crazy.

Great job Heregoesnothing!
Please don't find my blog.
Cause I'm shy if you happen to see this.
=,="
You're awesome, all 5 of you.
We're your #1 Fan.
Yay. =)

Happy weekends.

Comel United Ice Cream Evening Out.

2009-07-24T14:22:00.004+08:00

So yesterday, was the day, that I seriously left my brain and my mind at home.
Cause, there was totally no concentration in class.
But yeah, whatever with that, who cares.

So after school, finally, yeah, finally.
I got to spend time with Comel United.
It was pretty much impromptu, 'cause we didn't know what to do for the evening.
However Seri couldn't make it. But anyways, it was fun, just taking pictures, and eating ice cream, and laughing and joking.
I needed that, so much.

It's so funny lah.
Thanks for the evening Darlings.
I love you.

.

2009-07-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

I don't see any point in doing so.
'Cause at the end of the day,
I know I'm disappointing everyone.
& I'll be disappointing you.
I'm just getting myself prepared for it.
Because noone knows that I'm the one who will feel the pain the most.
But noone cares to see that.
They just won't.

big love.

2009-07-09T22:32:00.008+08:00

I've found my love.
It's nearly 18years of my life.
But only recently, I found what I call wonderfully and amazingly breathe-taking.
I wished I was from your era.
"Just to be the next, to be with you!"

On a side note, thank you so so much Dale.
You brought he and I together.
Hahaha! =)

And on a whole different story.
And coming back to Earth.
I'm loving my Leow Wen Loong Jeremy.
Baby, it's you. =)

Sunny Blue

2009-07-06T23:44:00.004+08:00

Today, is a day, where my mood fluctuates from moody to happy and back again and again.
Main thing, I got through the tough IT Project Management class.
And I had so much fun spending time with the girls, and the boy, and Harvn Hiroo and TobiCruz.
And not forgetting Jenny, even though for a short while.
And Seri, even though it was just for a hug.
We should have more of these gatherings. =)
Ahh, I love these people.
They're so funny.
I cried.
Laughing for no reason. =,="
So let's just say, HAPPY overwrited moody.
Yay. =)

Anyways, was on the bus in the morning, heading to Causeway Point for breakfast at McDs with the dancers.
And I pondered.
Somehow, I thought.
Maybe, just maybe, if I was older, I would take education more seriously.
Which sucks, 'cause now, I feel like I'm wasting money going to school.
Since I don't take it seriously.
Just face it.
The Boy seems to be taking education seriously.
Considering his attendance and grades.
"Are you smarter than a 5th Grader?"
Okay, shit, Deni is going to box my face for using this the second time in one night. =,="
So yeah, tomorrow is another freaking UT.
I almost failed, for the first one, this same module.
And facing the fact that I just completed one super duper long RJ, I have no time to study for the test.
Shits.

Goodnight, World.

movie date with the boy

2009-07-04T18:33:00.003+08:00

So I just came home from my day out with the boy.
Went to catch Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen.
Like finally I went with you, right boy?
So you better smile so wide that your lips touches from ear to ear.
Mainly, I enjoyed today.
No picture was taken.
But as I said, the memory will remain in my heart.
Thank you for today, my love.

the 1st mark

2009-06-30T23:47:00.001+08:00

Yes baby, it's our first month.
There ain't a 31st in this month.
So I'm wishing you in the middle of the 30th and the 1st.
Though I'm not sure how. =,="
Anyways, I know you've been waiting the whole 1.5days for me to wish you back.
Which i didn't, I think. =,=''

But now, i wish you 1month of love and happiness, & much much more to come.
It still kind of early to say how deep my love is for you.
But as everyday passes by, it grows deeper, bigger, and stronger.
You have my heart.
<3

it comes crawling back

2009-06-28T14:39:00.002+08:00

How I wish I could live in a house of my own.
Alone. Quiet. Peaceful. Calm.
With noone to nag at me.
With no chores for me to do for, but my own.
With no mess for me to clear after them.
With noone to tell me what to do.
With noone to scold me for what I'm doing.

It just sucks where I am.
And this always drive me back.
Back to my deeply wished for fantasy.
The fantasy I've forgotten for many months.

But this is, the reality.

the last line

2009-06-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

I know.
I'm like a bitter bitch, who doesn't seem to be bothered about you.
Give me a breather.
I'm not angry.
I'm okay.
I might just be that chirpy little faker, I always am, tomorrow.

Or maybe, I can just learn to shut the fuck up.

To my girls+boy of CNF:
I'm waiting for your stories to be told.
I know it'll be one wonderful piece.
You have my heart.

The week sucks, hardcore.

it's like this.

2009-06-20T22:10:00.004+08:00

Alrights, I'll admit defeat, that I'm seriously bored and I'm giving in to blogging.
The boy told me to go to sleep, cause my head is once again acting up.
But nope, I'm too annoyed with the humidity.

And another I'm frustrated with, will be people who can't seem to hurry their ass up when doing stuff even though they are asked too, because yes, at some point in time, you need to be considerate of other people who has other things to do, and your fucking slow ass will only act as an obstruction for them to continue their work.

Now now, after months of not buying Seventeen, I purchased one today.
I bought it at 5+pm and now I'm done with it.
I want new clothes.
I want new bags.
I want that watch.
I want to read love novels.
I want to take more pictures.
I WANT ICE CREAM!
Oh my God!
There's like this two pages of ice-cream, ice-cream and more ice-cream.
Cold Rock. I want.
*Screams*

And okay, I know the magazine didn't mention anything about the Botanic Garden.
However.
Dear Tobi, please take me there.
*Flutter eyes*
Hee.
*Jumpjump*

To the boy: I hope when you look back to your day at work, it didn't actually suck.
Hopefully.
=)

sucker

2009-06-18T21:40:00.003+08:00

Today, I did not go to school.
I couldn't bring myself to get off from bed.
Too tired, too painful.
Been going on for the past few days.
And yes, I seriously have this thought that I'm going to die. =,='
*touch wood* Amin.
Gosh, I hate this feeling.

And my mood right now, is gone.
Like seriously.
But my boyfriend is very sweet.
Whereas I suck.
I love you.

as the inability to sleep hits

2009-06-16T02:58:00.007+08:00

3hours ago, I went to bed.
Now, my eyes are still wide open.
I'm tired of having to twist & turn, and strectch, and force myself to sleep.
& It gets bloody warmer the longer I stay up.
And before anything, p/s to the boy: I don't care, I'm not waking you! =X

So, I've tried singing to myself to bed.
I think I can remember most of the lyrics of Candles by Hey Monday by now.
I've also, laughed, because I read my old messages in my phone.
Trust me that Deni is damn adorable and flunny!
And I've also watched the trailer of Hannah Montana The Movie, because Tobi sent me the link.
Till I'm excited, and I think I really need to catch it, next door, one day. Hah.
Last but not least, I've watched music videos of the Hoe Down Throw Down, and Lala Land.
Yup, I think two was enough, especially when my laptop gave some problems half-way through.
Zzz.

So, question now is.
Am I much ready-er for bed now?
Well, no. =,="
Wake time(though I'm already awake. zzz.) is in 4hours.
Awesome, awesome shit.
Grrr.

i think of you

2009-06-14T18:38:00.002+08:00

At a time like now, where I get to be alone,
I miss most definitely these two groups of people.
Tomorrow, will be the reopening of the new school term.
We shall hang out.
We definitely must.
You people know that I love you very deep.

& yes, I'm obviously only excited to meet up with my people.
Nothing to do with Meeting1, 2 & 3.
Really.

oh, was it my lucky day? =)

2009-06-13T18:25:00.004+08:00

Honestly, my inspiration for this post, is missing-in-action.
Therefore, this might just turn out, boring. -_-

Yesterday, the boy and I went to Vivo to watch Terminator Salvation.
We left our laptops at the IT Helpdesk for program installation, and headed out to Harbourfront.
Upon reaching there, we strolled around and had our child-time at Toys'R'Us, whilst awating for our 1335hour show.
Oh oh! And for the first time in my life, I used a receipt instead of a ticket to enter the theatre.
Cool shit, I know.
Either that, or I'm just bloody slow and outdated. -_-
Terminator Salvation was A-W-E-S-O-M-E to the maximum.
Seriously, that dude is hot. *Big big smile*

After that, we headed out to the outside of the mall, for warm air.
Yup, took a few photographs.
Nothing fancy, cause I know my hair sucked that day!
Yeah, annoying.
Hahaha.
P/s: People, take care of your hair-products and items, cause when you lose it, it affects you. Like my case now. Zzz.

Oh then we headed back to school to retrieve our laptops before the library closes.
I know the boy enjoys the journey back to school in the train so much.
*Eyebrow go up up*
But then there's another thing we enjoyed more.
Yeah, yeah, that one, right boy? Shhh.
*winkwink*
Hee.

Haiyoo.
ILY lah.
Oh and I found $5. =)
Dah enough, bye.

Bleargh.

2009-06-10T12:17:00.004+08:00

Alright.
Finally, I've changed my link and skin.
Not sure if I can call it "moved", because all my previous posts are still here.
Yeah, but this part, sungguh tak perlu dibincang. Zzz.

Anyways, will be meeting the boy later on at 1.
I'm barely ready.
And I'm feeling damn lazy to go out.
Can I cancel? =X
But he just boarded the train.
And I know I'm still going to be late.
Even if he is going to be late. =,="

Till later.
Bye.

"this is a bootcamp!"

2009-06-08T16:49:00.005+08:00

Back from the HipHopIG Camp 2009.
Well, despite being sick the whole period of the camp,
I pretty much feel that it's satisfying.
And although not so obvious,
I know that there is actually a bond between us Juniors.
Because, we have each other's backs.
And we made sure that we are capable of doing things on our own,
no matter who else are gonna speak bad about us.
For the Freshies, yup, alot of potential seen in almost all of them.
Well, I've got no pictures to show.
Looked horrid anyways.
Oh and yeah, I so much enjoyed myself, because finally,
I got my chance to sit with Tobi, Jenny & Seri, and hang out with them.
And we all slept together. =)
I think it was funny how Seri and I shared the blanket.

After the camp, my Babyboy came to pick me up.
I was shocked to know that he was picking me up.
I'm happy about it, but sorry if it wasn't shown.
Nose irritated me too much.
Hahaha.
Oh and yes, I think he's got a very very talkative girlfriend.
=,="

splash splash

2009-06-05T14:50:00.003+08:00

While packing my bag for the camp tomorrow,
I came across Color Splash Photography on Photobucket.
I was so amazed with it, I just had to tell my boy.
And he made me one.
*Huge grin*
Thank you Jem!
He never fails to surprise me, doesn't he? =)

Alrights, I'm already feeling really lazy to even want to pack or go for the camp tomorrow.
Just hoping that things run smoothly, and that I'll have fun.
For now, I wil have to make sure I do enough chores to satisfy Mum before I go.
But to think about it, she's pissing me off so much.
So I don't suppose I'll bother.

Okay, back to packing.
I will miss you boy.

gimme ice-cream and fries

2009-06-03T22:35:00.004+08:00

Two thing I would like to write up about.

One, thank you my babyboy for the ice-cream date.
I enjoyed it so much, even though it was just a short one.
It's especially cause it's ice-cream. =X
But of course, it's also because I got to spend time with you.
*Big grin*
Whether it's gon be 4 or 5days that we won't meet, we will survive. =)

Two, Glitz Award, although it was on Monday night.
I still feel the excitement and the satisfaction from the show.
Thanks to the Sports people, since I don't know what term to use.
Because, they seem to show that they appreciate what we showed for them.
Unlike people who came for Momentum, no offence, just my view on a whole.
I don't know.
It just seems ironic.

& I said, 3days? It feels like eternity.

Day of Joy

2009-05-31T02:28:00.007+08:00

Momentum 2009 Day2 was much more satisfying.
With Mum in the front seat.
And a nice voice introducing the crew to the crowd.

Main spotlight of the day, or night.
My boy. =)

Everything else, that's saddening, is forgotten.
And you, you're taking over.

oh god help me.

2009-05-25T21:51:00.003+08:00

After four days of not practising and the large input of food into me,
I feel heavy.
And to make things worse,
My stamina has fallen short.
I just had to keep reminding myself just now during practice, "Don't faint. Don't faint.".
Cause I almost did.

Momentum in a few more days.
Very few days.
Not nervous.
YET.

What to wear to school tomorrow?

whatever thought of

2009-05-23T01:22:00.011+08:00

Shagged. From a long day. 2 more longgggg days ahead. Make it 8.

This space has got a little dusty.
Basically, simply said, I forgot to update.
Not like anyone really reads it anyways.
A few things/events to post on.
But ain't gon bother much.

The Birthday Girl for the week. Yes, a week. =) Love you so much.

And I'm really sorry I won't be there for your cricket-ty, Disney party later on tonight.

Zzz.

Hope you will have fun, and the ehem comes. All the best!Trust me that this goes the same for me! The Picnic. An awesome one. I want more! More, please? And to this dude, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Someone is 18 now. =P

And hey, had fun seeing you just now, and can't wait to see you in a few hours again!

And BOY, thank you.

For your earpiece.

It's keeping me accompanied.

RJ, you scare me real bad now.

I have no idea how to answer you.

And I think I'm pretty much writing all over the place.
Annoyance.
I need sleep.
Goodnight.

the boy

2009-05-17T16:34:00.003+08:00

(since you on the way to library hoh)

This post, will be about you.
Because you kept me company for a few days now.
Because you talked to me on your show, although there are others listening.
Because you played all the nice songs, and had me playing a guessing game.
Because you FB-ed with me, till your homepage was covered with my msgs.
Because you got us talking as if it's about a third-person.
Because you kept me smiling.

So you better feel grand, hoh!
=P

these days

2009-05-06T23:13:00.002+08:00

Breathe.
Swallow.
Be patient.
And hold on.

Afterall, it's known to be repetitive.
Where else can you run but stay.
No matter how hard it is.
No matter how much you say you can't take it any longer.

my little butterfly

2009-05-04T22:33:00.003+08:00

Left behind my Butterfly belt at E5.
Consider it lost. =(
There goes my Butterfly.
"Butterfly, oh, Butterfly. I love you. I'm sorry for being irresponsible. You've been sexy and sweet to me. I will miss you."
=(

This is the true meaning of: You'll only cherish something when it's gone.
Damn.

Today was one hell of a bimbotic day.
Period.

Oh wait, this post reminds me of Deni's BUTTERFLY STORY.
Deni, sing me the song.
I'll cry 'cause I know how you feel now that MY butterfly is gone.

What lame post is this?
I'm seriously going to think I have no life when I read this in the future.
Trust.

when it fails.

2009-04-30T15:10:00.005+08:00

Cause you never fail to cheer me up.

Three arguements in a row.

What's with the number 3. =,="

Anyway, finally, I came to a realisation.

Selfish is not me.

Selfish is YOU.

Maybe it's not easy to think about those many people.

But all you could have thought about was me.

How much I'm trying to be there for you.

And how hurt and disappointed I become when I couldn't get through to you.

I no longer want this.

I'm done. Go figure.

zzz.

2009-04-27T20:36:00.001+08:00

Bad day. Huge embarrassment.
I just died.
Twice. Maybe, thrice.
I'll be moving. Soon.
'Nuff said.

close your eyes.

2009-04-26T00:39:00.003+08:00

Finally after a week of agony and being deprived of sleep, I spent my afternoon till night today, sleeping.

Hopefully, I can continue with it in a while.

Need more sleep!

So, my first week of school.

It went alright I must say.

Not saying that it was super exciting, but it was tolerable and manageable.

So yes, I do hope that it will continue through.

I'm not sure if I'm thinking this for real, but I do feel that I might want to venture in the DIDM industry in my future.

On another page, I went to OSchool today for Momentum Practice with Gin and the others.

I must admit that it was enjoyable.

And I'm so looking forward to more pratices.

So people, come watch Momentum okays?

It's going to be worth your 10.

Joke of the week: Tu bukan Auntie ke Apek

Only I know you know Ami.

Hahaha.

a token

2009-04-21T22:19:00.005+08:00

Ami, thanks for being there for me.
Thanks for sitting/sleeping beside me, while I was having a break-down.
Even though you didn't say anything much, I appreciate that.
And surely not the least, thank you for making me smile and laugh again, and start cycling the air.
I love you very very much. =)

And Sexy Jo, together, the 3 of us, can seriously go mental.
There was too many good and lame and confusing jokes. =)

They say in life, there exist difficult, painful moments.

This is mine.

the last night

2009-04-19T21:50:00.005+08:00

Because tomorrow, is a school day, after so very long.

Not looking forward.

f-ed up

2009-04-18T23:14:00.001+08:00

And I'm on the verge of giving up.
It just cuts real deep inside.

the jam 'n' hop party 2009

2009-04-18T09:15:00.003+08:00

Hello, I'm a zombie.
Early in the morning such as this.
Gosh.

Anyways, as promised to beloved Kimono Hakim, I will write a post very very soon, I think hopefully long enough to bore him.
Hahaha.(More at Facebook, although there isn't much anyways.)

So yes yes, yesterday was the night.
Jam 'N' Hop 2009.

First things first, I was really elated upon receiving my Style Groovaz Tee.
Job well done Jason, it turned out superbly su-weet! =)

Anyways, don't mind me alright, I have no idea what to type down here now.
I'm just trying to squeeze whatever memory I have.
My brains not in good use for the moment, it's a zombie's brain, remember?
Okay, Hakim wanted long, so as long as I keep writing craps like these, it will become long. =,="

Alright, one more thing, I'm extremely joyed with the fact that I finally got to meet Seri, Jenny, Tobi, Deni, Aini, and Ferra & Dinie!
It's been like lightyears since we all were together in human.
And there was so many hugs and laughters, despite a few sadness though.
I remember I was asked a question, "Happening sangat ke ni party?"
And my answer was "With your gang of people, everything is happening."

Another thing is, this year, I was priviledged to be able to go all the way up front to view the concert.
We were standing up front screaming and singing and grooving and hopping and clapping.
We were all basically trickling perpiration in the humidity.
But it was well-worth a million percent.
For one, I had so much fun.
But mainly, it was the fact that Farhan Shah can practically hear Deni and I scream like mad kids for him.
Hahaha.
I know we both pretty much squealed everytime he looked our way.
And the fact that he smiled for my camera!
But damn, too bad he was moving. Gaah...

By the way, SGC did pretty well.
I received a comment from a friend that it was bomb.
But even without that comment, I already knew it's so va-va-voom-vroom-vroom. =,="
Sexy Jo, you rocked it on stage!
And yes yes, I agree that Piano Boy cute.
But Farhan Shah hot.
See, different. Means both can.
Hahaha.

One more thing, I knew in the previous post, I was quite confident that Bus Boy wouldn't be there.
But guess what? ...
Damn, and Hakim stop it ekh, I know what you're saying or thinking now.
Grr at you. Hahaha. =P

On a side-note, Aminah is hot yesterday.
Despite anything, I love you deep deep.
And I'm just an MSN away.

So how Hakim, satisfying post?

Rating, Dude.

vin shah =,="

2009-04-16T23:07:00.003+08:00

Yes. He is very very hot. And I was in an action-pack movie with him while I was asleep last night. =)

Okay, suddenly I don't know what to blog about.
Tsk tsk.
Saw FS just now during the on-site run. Yeah-hoo!
No idea how obvious I was screaming for him. =,="
Tomorrow is the real Jam 'N' Hop Party.
Excited much. Because of many reasons basically.
Meeting many long-seen(?) people.
And screaming for FS so so much again.
And supporting fellow sexy Jo & Abang, and the breakers, Ami and Marsh included.
=)
Hoping for a very very very good day, or rather night, tomorrow.
Bus boy, don't suppose he'll be there. =,="
What am I to wear tomorrow?

a theory

2009-04-14T04:43:00.003+08:00

Suddenly, things are coming together just that little bit.
I've been trying to figure out that dream so so much.
Yes, it's partly an insecurity.
What a friend goes through, I do not want.
I know I'm not the one going through it.
But I already feel it.
So yeah, I guess that's why I've never been up to having a commitment.
Few years down the road, I hope for it to go away, for me to have more trust in everyone.
Which girl wants to have second thoughts on her wedding day, right?
Well, this is just a theory anyways.

So morning people.
I want to hit the sack.
I have to be in school by 10am.
Will I make it? -_-"

& everything around me spins real fast

2009-04-12T22:20:00.003+08:00

Somehow, for the first time in my life, I feel so suffocated.
And kind of claustrophobic.
All of this is seriously getting to me.
I worry bout this so so much.
How can I not?
Just look at my schedule.
I never used to have one.
Except those basic school classes kind of things.
Gaaahh.
I need to visit somewhere with a huge space, and air for me to breathe.
Oh, and I want more chocolates and sweet.

And one more thing, have u ever had a situation.
Whereby, the more you try to remember, the more you tend to forget?
Well, I'm going through that nowadays.
Darn it.
I feel like fainting, for real.

Where are my funny people?
=(

Okay

2009-04-09T23:25:00.004+08:00

Okay, I think this is a little perangai.
There's not much of a difference or anything.
But I miss the old hair, the hair few hours ago before it went through snip-snip.
Now, it's just haywire.
Okay, maybe cause I haven't styled it yet.
-_-

Oh saw Nana just now, while I was heading to school!
Of course, I dragged her along, to walk all the way to RP.
And then let her walk home alone.
Happy! =)

Right.
I'm tired.
I think, tonight, I can finally go to bed.

So happy yet so sad. So excited yet so bored.
I just can't work this way.

those typed out memories

2009-04-08T00:14:00.005+08:00

Was viewing back all my previous posts.
And something in the post of October 10, 2008 made me smile.
The bus person.
I saw him again today.
I remember wishing that I could somehow see him around again.
Now, I don't have to wish anymore.
Cause I can't even count how many times it's been.
Haha.
But it's so irritating, that everytime we "see" each other, I'm looking so unkempt since it's mainly after a long day, with dance in the timetable.
Bleargh.

Oh and about reading back old posts.
I figure I wrote alot of lame stuff, which didn't seem lame at the point of writing.
Zzz.

my darling, hey

2009-04-01T00:59:00.003+08:00

Okay. I know I pretty much need to get to bed.
I need to just say something.
BBoy was a good boy. Err?
Well, basically cause it made me tired. Wee?
Hopefully I can go to bed.
And I pretty hope that I won't remember stupid things that make me scared or sad in the middle of the night.
And I hope that I won't be like a computer on sleep mode again like last night.
Cause, despite me with eyes closed from 4am till 8am, I was pretty much awake in the head.
Tsk tsk.

Okay, back to the "need to just say something".
Well, I captured the above image from Jenny's blog, which she captured off Tobi's.
Hmm, I didn't know that someone else did feel the way I have felt for so long.
Yes, I mean long, like many many months.
True enough, it's just like what Tobi said.
I too, felt that each day I'm losing my loves, especially Tobi, Jenny and Seri.
And also true, the fact that last time, it's hugs everyday.
It's pictures all the time.
But now, it's like most times now, we barely even chat or contact each other.
I don't know how seriously you guys are doing.
I don't hear your problems and happiness from you anymore.
I feel lost.
And I feel like I've lost your love.
The person that I do sometimes chat with from time to time is Tobi.
Not that I'm greedy or anything.
But I too want all of y'all back with me.
Maybe it won't be like last time.
But wishfully, much closer than we are now.

All my life growing up.
People come and go.
I make friends, wonderful friends.
And I lose them because of losing contacts.
But with you guys, I don't want that to happen.
I'm not thinking far, but I do wish that I grow up having kids who know you in person.
Okay, maybe that is thinking far.
But my main reason is that, I don't want them to lose out not knowing such wonderful people as you guys.

So yes.
I would love to have an outing with you guys.
We shall discuss it alrights?
I love you all so so much. <3

Earth Hour

2009-03-29T02:59:00.002+08:00

Oh freak!
This is like so, what the hell?
It's like 3hours laying here in bed in the dark.
Yet, I've not drifted into SnoreLand.
My eyes are already, stinging.
So please, hopefully after this post, I can fall deep into sleep.
Before my back gets more uncomfortable.
Zzz. =,="
I feel like an old person.
Although, actually, Atuk & Nenek went fast asleep like even before I got ready for bed.
What's wrong, man? What's wrong?

Anyways, my family and I took part in the Earth Hour thing.
Yup, the house was lighted with candles, for more than an hour actually.
Kind of fun? Err..?
Hahaha.
But it's like, I felt a little disheartened.
Because when I looked out of the window, many houses were still well-lit up.
It's scary to think that they voted "No." to saving the world.
Eh, I suddenly remembered the phrase, 'Save the cheerleader, save the world.'
=,="

Oh by the way, we all know that people are able to lose touch at doing something.
But it is possible to lose touch at reading a book?
Cause it makes me quite fed-up with the fact that I read them only half-way(or much much lesser).
And it's all because I felt that they aren't interesting enough.
Gosh.

On another note, it's really weird.
When I'm trying to eat my lunch.
And you tell me something uncomforting about me.
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry or to feel scared.
But up till now, your words never left my mind.
Nevermind.

Alright.
I feel even more sleepy now.
Will force myself to bed, again.
Bye.

yadayada

2009-03-27T03:07:00.005+08:00

Oh God.
Kill the fact that my poor eyes are tired and stinging.
And fact that my back's merciless-ly plain discomforting everynight.
And my gastric and migrains are visiting these few days.
Well, why is it that, my mind just won't shut up?!
Give me a break, dear Mind.
I just need to rest. =(
At the current physical state of my being, I don't look forward to my day.

Anyways, yesterday, was Mum's birthday.
Yup, as usual, nothing fancy or huge done.
Just a basic wish and a gift,if you have any.
(Why I'm telling you the above sentence, I have no idea.)
So I got the*lightbulb* on what to give Mum.
So I bought her red roses.
True enough, her reaction was, "Red roses! My favourite."
Phew.
Of course, the bunch I bought was whack.
Cause I took it out of the wrapping and, wow(zzz), it bloomed hugely.
Gaahh..
The petal's going to slowly fall off & the plant is going to die.
Pronto!
Dang. Tsk.
Nevermind.

So, I can sleep now?
Maybe?

No?

*Sigh*

I'm Back. Err?

2009-03-23T23:07:00.003+08:00

HELLO!

Hahaha. It's been like 4days since I used my laptop.

So finally, after visiting IT-Helpdesk earlier today, I am able to use it again.

I was so scared that it was unrepairable/unfixable, but yes yes, phew!

So after that, went over to Causeway Point with Hakim.

And we ended up buying tickets for Coming Soon.

A very good scary/flunny/shocker movie indeed.

And Hakim can't stop laughing about the very last sentence/act.

"You really want to watch me die?!"

Hahaha.

Oh and we did spend time walking around the shopping centre browsing at stuffs in the shops.

And yeah, we alsowent to the library afterwards, cause I wanted to borrow a book so I can read at home.

But now with my laptop alive again, I'm not sure about it.

Opps.

So all in all, thank you Hakim for the day spent with me.

True, it's been long since we really hung out.

Oh and yesterday, I went to watch Hakim's Cheerleading Competition at Zouk Carpark with Aminah.

It was awesome.

Ami and I talked and laughed so much.

We also got irritated with that stupid annoying Auntie.

Serious uhhs, mintak kene smack.

Anyway, besides the fact that Ami & I felt out of place, we were totally wow-ed by the showcases.

Hakim's team did so well, until, yes, Ami somehow felt like joining RP's Cheerleading team.

Hahaha.

Hakim, both Ami and I are really proud of you.

And thank you for inviting us to watch your competition.

It was worth going for.

Hahaha.

So basically, I know that my days were well spent with people who I love very much.

And that, it is possible to not touch my laptop for a few days.

Hahaha.

Bye then.

Woken Up Soul.

2009-03-19T11:12:00.005+08:00

Pretty much fed-up and still in enervation.
All those construction work, whatever that's similar, has really got to stop.
It was freaking 10 in the morning, when I was woken up by some weird drilling noise.
I forced myself back to sleep, plugged my ears with my MP3, covered my head with pillow.
Yet, my mind was yelling, full of frustration by the overbearing of noise.

Like it's so stupid, to drill a hole in the ground or do whatever stuff, so early in the day.
Why can't they at least start at noon?
Fine, I know they are doing their job, and that they are making the standard of living(SOL) better.
But what better living condition does it give when at the start, I get all the migraines I don't need.
Especially on the day that I'm going to be home the whole day.
And that I need to get started preparing for my Examination.
God.
And to make it worse, my music can't eliminate the sound from outside.
My thoughts are so shaken.

On the other hand, Mum must be thanking them so so much.
Because like finally, after a long time, I woke up early.
Unlike my usual super late wake ups.
Tsk.

Oh and Mum said "they are making a shelter".
Very clever and nice, don't you think?
Why aren't they clever enough to have made it when they constructed this site?
Making holes in the ground, dig here and dig there.
The Earth is having enough pain can?
And I thought it's the reccession period.
Why so much money to waste on all this?
Shelter not so very important what, there's such a thing called umbrella.
Humans so lazy to hold on to umbrellas meh?

BBoy & Tricking?

2009-03-18T01:25:00.004+08:00

So sweet of Jenny to draw a heart for us, right Tobi and Seri? =))

Love you 3 lots and lots.

My sugar and pepper in boiled water. =P

Anyways, BBoy lesson today.

I meant yesterday I guess.

Uhm, wow, if I don't grow bald, I'm lucky.

Anyways, I'm kind of disappointed with myself.

Cause, I pretty much couldn't lift my ass to do much of the freezes.

Tsk tsk.

Got to train.

Err?

Oh and then, I was really amazed with the vidoes I watched on Youtube.

Yeah, Fariz Mr. Murdoc is the mastermind behind me viewing them.

Gosh, like I told him, I envy dudes.

Cause I quite want their strength to do many of those stunts in breaking.

But there are girls too.

But, the guys are still the awesome ones!

By the way, tomorrow I'm visiting Nenek with Mum and Cha.

At least I'm going out.

Although I'm not interested in seeing Nenek.

Evil much?

Haha!

a word starts with B. Bored!

2009-03-15T17:17:00.005+08:00

I know I have so much to do.

For example, MORE chores, and getting started with my preparations for the Dance Examination.

But hell no, all I want is to watch movies.

Non interesting on TV, thus my lappy becomes the next victim.

I think my laptop might explode out of overheating.

I seriously have to stop.

But then again, I'm extremely bored.

I think the boredom is eating through my backbone.

And I guess I've had enough of sitting here at home.

It's been almost like, a week?

Tsk.

It's alright.

Tonight, I'm letting this baby rest.

'I give you holiday, okay?'

=))

Oh and those people in the picture, you're one of those I'm missing right now.

With love.

I'm hoping that you really are okay.

Brrr...

2009-03-13T03:16:00.003+08:00

So I've been watching movies online for the past 2days.
Those usual love stories that makes me smile, and cry, and yeah, you get it.
And yeah, trust me I'm searching for more.

But I don't know.
Everytime the movie ends, I fall back onto Earth.
Newsflash, life aren't all like what we see in the films.
And that's simply what makes it somewhat depressing.

It's always been my mistake.
Never-endingly. And I'm stuck as to what to do.
I'm going out of my mind.

Tsk. Is all I can say. =,="

2009-03-11T23:47:00.003+08:00

Thank Grease for keeping my mind off things for the moment earlier on.

Dance Examination is up, in about 2weeks.
And till now, I have no mood nor inspiration to choreograph the steps.
And especially now, I blank out on the song choice.

Oh a bigger problem, I feel more like singing than dancing.
Prangai uhhs, Babe.
Fcuktards.

Well of course, as if that's the only thing on my mind.
Tsk.
It's called LUCKY that my house does not have things for me to keep muching on.
Cause really, I will stuff my face.
Despite the fact that I've lost my appetite lah konon.

And when the hell do I use the Malay Language in my blog.
Do I sound like a sloth talking to herself?

I'm definitely not myself.
But I'm fine as always.
=)

Danceworks!2009, it's a part2

2009-03-10T23:23:00.010+08:00

So yup, here's another dose of Danceworks!2009 pictures.
Received them from Seri just a while ago.
Thank you love, and do recover soon.
I love you alot alot, together with Jenny, Tobi, Deni & Ami.
This may seem very sudden.
But yeah, you guys have been there for me everytime.
Even without you knowing.
Even when you aren't aware of my issues.
Even if we spend time talking craps, and making me laugh. =)

Okay then, on with the pictures.So I guess that's about it.

But yeah, the remaining one might pop-up in Facebook.
That's if I'm not lazy to upload, yeah.

Anyways, these few days, I just want to steer away from the outside world.
I have my reasons.
Usually when I wake up, I just want to sit and rot and die slowly at home.
But today, I realise that I very much enjoy breaking.
So no regrets forcing myself to the studio.

Despite having everyone practically rolling all over the ground facing all different directions.

Till someone stepped happily on someone else's hand and felt like it was a lizard.
Yeah, thanks to Ami and Deni for keeping me company.
You both placed more than a smile on my face from the moment I stepped into the studio.
And even after I left.
Thank you. =)

DanceWorks!2009

2009-03-09T19:03:00.015+08:00

On Saturday, Busta Groovaz represented SGC in DanceWorks!2009.
We didn't go through to the Finals.
But we sure are elated for enjoying ourselves and working it out on stage.
All 10 of us are proud of one another because we made it through all the good and bad times we shared together.
And the bond was ever-so-strong among us.
And that's what I love most about us.
After that day, I guess I'm seriously going to miss each and every of them.
I already have.

Photography by Hakim.
Thank you for capturing it beautifully.
More can be viewed at my Facebook page.
And there are seriously more from Seri, which, well, she said she doesn't want to give to me.
So sad-ness. =(
Please give me-ness.
Oh and there's the videos too.
Both side view and diagonal view.
Can check it out at my Facebook page too.
Anyways, I would like to present many "Thank You"s to all who have helped us.

Whether a huge amount, or just a little bit.

(Name not in any particular order.)

Hakim. Abang Yanz. JoLove.

BBoy Mad. BGirl Shayan. Jenny.

Denisia. Marsh. Dinie Faris.

Benjy. Mel. AshFresh.

CA. BBoy Larry. Gin.

Naz. Zee. Zoo.

Because without you people, we wouldn't have acomplished as much as we did.

And to all others, family and friends, for all your support to the team, thank you to you too.

So DanceWorks!2009 is over.
Now I need to get started on preparing for the Dance Examination coming 27th of March.

Denifitely less than a month's time.

And I've not even started.

Will get to it soon.

'Please please Brain, give me ideas.'

Anyways, Sunday was not much of a good day I guess.

Except for the part where I watched 3 back-to-back movies on Star Movies.

The Bourne Identity, Hitman, & The Transporter.

One thing in common, they all have dudes who are capable of protecting a lady.

What a fantasy.

But trust me, I was happy and contented watching them.

And for today.
Well.

I woke up.

So that's basically it.

Hey, Busta Groovaz

2009-03-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

I know it's almost midnight.
And you peeps won't really read this.
But yes, tomorrow is our Danceworks.
I am so nervous and scared, and worried that I might forget to bring things.
Tsk.

But, I know that tomorrow, we will do great as a team.
We've been criticized so much.
We all got angry and sad and disappointed.
We almost gave up.
But we didn't.
One thing for sure, we all kept strong.
We kept striving.
We worked so hard.
And of course, with the never ending dose of bitching sessions.
Which became quite a motivation for the team.
As we laughed and de-stressed.

And on a much more important note.
All 9 of you have gone deep into my heart.
The bond we had, was ever-so-strong.
And that's one of the biggest thing I'm proud of about us.
And I hope, that even after the big day, we remain together, and grow together.

So, it is only fair, if we go up on stage with confidence and energy.
And we enjoy ourselves.
And we rock the stage.
Afterall, I thinked we worked more than other crews.
Like everyday, hello.
Hahaha.

So come on, we can do this.
Cause, we deserve to come down the stage proud of each other.
And we deserve it, after all the effort.

With love.

Tomatoes & Eggs in YOUR face.

2009-03-03T22:09:00.005+08:00

Clearly, as I think I've once said.
My place is in hell.
Cause it just needs you.
To open up your mouth.
To make me open my mouth.
To make you cry.
You're just so bloody good at spoiling everyone's mood.
But you're so bloody bad at knowing me even at an acceptable amount.
And you dare say you have the right to have your say of me.

Trust me.
I'm just as disappointed of you, as you are of me.
Job well done.
Job well done.

And I'm amazingly folding the laundry.
Despite me hating it as a chore.
It feels rather calming now.
Really, that's how bad you affect me, I think.
As if it's so easy, what I go through.

Idiot.
And that's your favorite word to use, isn't it?

it is how it is.

2009-03-01T21:14:00.003+08:00

There's little reason as to why a person might hate herself.
But there's a bigger reason why she prefers to keep it to herself.
And no matter how much one can say she doesn't live in regrets.
In some maybe small forgetable situations, she does.

My body clock is wrecked.
I know I'm not the only one.
But, what is it we can do to help ourselves?
Just so that we're ready for the new school year.
Yeah I'm darn worried, just to see the state I'm in.
And yes, I planned on no-more-Wellness-to-sleep-at.

Tonight, I sense myself hitting the sack early.
Cause right now, I'm already only half-awake.

Goodbye and Goodnight.

Don't bother reading.

2009-02-28T22:31:00.003+08:00

Note : This post is not intended for you to read. So don't freaking waste your time.

I seriously want to drink something cold, maybe gassy.
Example, Coke.
And then, I find that there's no cold can of Coke in the fridge.
And then I checked to see if there's ice.
Voila. Non of it too.
And then, there's no cold water either in there.
The bottle for the water, and the tray for the ice, were left empty.
So, in the end, who has to fill it up.
Me. Again. Me.
Even when I have not been comsuming any of it lately.
For weeks I must say.
Because first, I'm out most of the time.
And second, I haven't been well.

I just hate that, all those time, I got scolded for leaving all those shits empty and un-refilled.
When others were the one who finished it.
When others didn't take their part.
When others were irresponsible.
When others were a fucking piece of lazy piggy ass.
I, I get scolded for your lazy bums.
And you get all the freaking love.
Never have you boys been blamed for stupid things as these.

But what frustrates me right now is that I want something cold/gassy/both and I can't have it.
I'm in a fussy state.
But it's common sense, when you want something cold, obviously you don't want something warm.
Usually I'll have Milo, but today I want cold.
And today, I can't have it due to these circumstances.
Piece of fuck.

I'm feeling thick in the throat.

You read it, didn't you?
Fine. Anyways.
I'm sorry if you wasted your minutes there reading this post.
But this is the only place I can have my say.
And that I know for sure that this blog won't speak up and tell me to chill.

'you're the one that i want"

2009-02-26T00:04:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling kind of bored.
If not for Jenny, Seri & Tobi, I think I would have died of boredom.
Hahaha.
Cause Kim is over at Zee's chalet right now.
So yeah.
I couldn't be there with them all -most of SGC peeps.
Cause as usual, curfew.
=,="

Anyways, to waste time at home.
I watched videos on Youtube.
And hell yeah, I found something I so so love.
Heee.
I have no idea why I blushed all the way looking at John Travolta.
Weee...
Shh...
=P

Alrighty then.
Got to make sure I won't stay up so late tonight.
Because I need to head off to school early tomorrow to meet my Lovelies.
Seri, Tobi & especially Jen-who-we-haven't-seen-in-a-while, I can't wait to meet you!
=)

The Huge Sigh Of Relief

2009-02-23T14:11:00.003+08:00

A huge weight has flown off my shoulders.
Knowing that in the coming year, I will still be able to take part in performances.
Phew.
Yes, my results are alright.Not fabulous, but at least, I know I'm safe.

Shoes yet again. =,="

2009-02-22T23:30:00.002+08:00

I'm officially going ding-dong.
I spent all the time I had at home today looking at shoes online.
First I started out checking out heels.
When finding nice ones failed, I turned to sneakers.
And then, there I went gaga.
Kept telling Aminah and Hakim.
I kept passing them links just to see the shoes I found.
Until I guess there was just too much coming from just one main website.
Of course, tonight Mummy and I are going to have a bad bedtime.
Which will lead to, us coming late for tomorrow's practice.
Opps.

Anyways, went to Pizza Hut in the evening.
To celebrate a belated Birthday to Dad.
And an advanced Birthday to Shahrul.
So yeah, as usual, we drove down to Causeway Point.
Every-single-time.
So predictable...and boring!
=.="
Cause obviously, right after we eat, home we go.
Like, why can't you just call up for a delivery?

Oh yeah.
I wanted to take a picture.
For my oh-so-wordy blog.
But guess what.
Me, in my own world of shoes-that-are-walking-past-me-all-the-time, forgot.
*Slaps forehead*

&& By the way.
If y'all want to check out some awesome kicks, or something else, online.
Head down to DrJays.
=)

Nights.

Mad About Shoes.

2009-02-21T20:21:00.002+08:00

Went to Town yesterday with dear crewmates in search for our costumes.
Ended up, I didn't find pants that suits, the look or my interest.
Besides that, I felt like fainting at times due to my almost-going-to-be-sick condition.
Luckily I went home before I really felt too weak.

Well, I'm basically going crazy about shoes.
And bras.
Opps.
I so totally want those strappy sandal-like heels.
Despite me being a not-so-heels kind of person, those heels must have really twinkled for me.
I didn't buy it of course, cause I told that I will have to see if I'm able to sleep the night.
If not, then I will have to get them.
But then again, being unwell, I ended up sleeping earlier than usual.
And then, I started to dream about those heels, all the time.
So irritating, it's like I want to sleep-walk and buy them.

And then I woke up today, very late, and I opened up my Seventeen magazine.
There is it, Dr Martens footwear collection.
With the oh-so-gorgeous strappy heels.
A much much nicer one, cause its like a shoe with the shoelaces.
Okay, maybe my description sucks.
But if you see it, I think you might want it too.
But no! I will kill you if you do!
Nope, I don't think I'm "just being a girl".
I'm psycho.
Tsk.

But seriously speaking, nothing would beat those Dr Martens ones.
Why must the nice ones be so damn expensive?
(Cause obviously Dr Martens is expensive.)
Damn.

Oh by the way, I think Jenny has a good taste in music for her blog.
Went to visit just now, and the song is so nice.
I'm basically hooked to it now.

When the crapnuts get together.

2009-02-19T01:29:00.005+08:00

When the 4people, Jenny, Seri, Tobi & myself get together.
Whether in real life, or virtually.
Well, we are basically just like any other crapnuts human beings.

Below is an example.
A very long one indeed.

(1:07 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
ehhh
(1:07 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
ehhhh
(1:07 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
each person pick one superhero ah
(1:07 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
abeh we can have super powerrrrssssss
(1:07 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
wooohooo
(1:07 AM) [ T ]obi™ :
i nak elektra
(1:07 AM) xoxo,S.:
hehe
(1:07 AM) xoxo,S.:
i nk bubbles can?
(1:08 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
cannnnn
(1:08 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
i nk wonderwomennnnnnnnnnnn
(1:08 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
wooooooo
(1:08 AM) ★ naJ (::
i nak gingerbread
(1:08 AM) xoxo,S.:
haha
(1:08 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
gingerbread save sape?
(1:08 AM) xoxo,S.:
gingerbread biler mase superhero eh?
(1:08 AM) ★ naJ (::
save me by giving me childhood
(1:08 AM) ★ naJ (::
boleh?
(1:08 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
boleh lahhhhhh
(1:09 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:
okie best
(1:09 AM) [ T ]obi™ :
^.^ <.< <.< <.<

(1:09 AM) [ T ]obi™ :

(1:09 AM) xoxo,S.:

haha

(1:09 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:

got elecktra, bubbles , wonderwoman, and gingerbreaddddddddd

(1:09 AM) Jenny, Lanny's:

wahhhhhhhhh

(1:09 AM) xoxo,S.:

haha

(1:09 AM) ★ naJ (::

gingerbread paling cute

(1:09 AM) xoxo,S.:

dora also can?

(1:09 AM) xoxo,S.:

dora always tlg?

(1:09 AM) [ T ]obi™ :

i actualli not much of superhero

(1:09 AM) xoxo,S.:

give u all map?

(1:09 AM) xoxo,S.:

hee

(1:09 AM) ★ naJ (::

if dora can eh i nak bunny..

(1:09 AM) [ T ]obi™ :

New Skin. =)

2009-02-18T23:28:00.003+08:00

Today was tiring.
As usual.
Although I had fun seducing my girls.
Hahaha.
Tomorrow is yet another day.

Hakim, I wish your neck, and everywhere else injured, would get well soon.
That picture cracks me up real big.
Haha.

Anyways!
I changed my skin, after days of hesitating.
Hahaha.
I love love my new skin.
Cause it is so pink.
Maybe costume-wise, it can be this pink.
If you know what I mean.
And if you are supposed to know what I mean you better.
Haha.

Goodnight.

Day(evening more like) with Deni. =)

2009-02-17T23:47:00.002+08:00

I'm so happy to be able to see Deni again after so long.
We were laughing and talking to each other probably 85% of the time instead of breaking.
From the gossips, to making a fool of ourselves.
Best part: Instrumental music that sounded like it was from the movie Grease.
Oh damn.
There we were, dancing to the moves from the movie.
With the Cha Cha and the Limbo.
Hahaha.
=)

I know I haven't been pleasant for you these few days.
I'm really sorry.
I really want to be your good girl.
Can we ever be happy?

I hope so.

"And never regret anything that made you smile." - Ruslana
Korshunova.

May she rest in peace.

lethargic.

2009-02-15T17:09:00.006+08:00

Feeling super strong on procrastination.
I just feel like sitting and staring at the TV screen.
I'm not even sure if I'm barely thinking, or there's just too many faint voices in my head.
I don't know what to do, or maybe I just don't want to do anything.
Gosh.

And I just can't stand the fact that I keep making things so difficult and complicating.
When all it can be is easy breezy.
I'm really sorry, for everything.

I'm so totally feeling lazy and lethargic.
I want to sleep, if that's possible.
Damn. Tomorrow's Monday.
Meaning I have to go to school for prop-making.
And also the week will be another routine of going to school for practices and dance, everyday.
Why oh why?

& I'd probably would never say "I love you"
to you ever again.

V-Day oh fucking V-Day..

2009-02-13T23:43:00.005+08:00

Feeling too horribly fatique.

Dancing everyday, it's tougher than anyone else would know.

The amount of effort, yeah, this week was the most.

And I'm proud of the babies, of my babies.

For being able to put together so much, at this moment of pressure.

Of course, we still have more to cover, but we'll get to it.

We can and we will. =)

Anyways.

A Happy Valentine's Day.

To those who will be celebrating.

I know I have my dentist appointment coming morning.

Which I seriously feel like cancelling.

Cause, I'm not sure if I can afford to wake up.

Damn it.

And my weekends, will be spent making "drugs".

I'd seriously call that creative work.

All those Arts & Craft.

And feeling-feeling Art Attack.

I so love myself, to bits. =.="

How I wish I was Lucy or Gingerbread.

Stupid Danceworks.

2009-02-11T23:39:00.005+08:00

And here we go again.
Problems after problems.
On the verge of just quiting.
Cause there's no point.
I think all these while, I've been hanging on just cause of my loved ones.
But like I say, one can only take in so much.
Just when we gain motivation, people have to idiotically pull us down.
Saying things when they aren't even freaking there with us all the time to know what we go through.
And what help has there been?
Oh... Just half a dozen of hours, & you think you can have your say on us.
And what about all those crappy little lies?
As if we are mean and evil.
Yeah, I'm some "big fuck".
At least not as big as you.
Thanks to you, my motivation level is back to zero.
Idiot.

gosh.

2009-02-10T22:45:00.003+08:00

A tendency for frown lines to grow on my face, due to these few days.
There are many, many, many things/issues to think about.
And I'm tired, physically, mentally & emotionally.
Just hopefully, I won't die in my sleep for worrying too much.

Tomorrow will be another practice.
Pushed it forward to 9am.
Not trying to be evil by making everyone tear themselves away from their beds.
I don't want to wake up early either.
But we have to, we have to do something.
So much needs to be done.
And we can see, that some are doing so much more than others.
I have no idea how that makes us "We're all in this together."?
I'll just need to toughen myself up, just in case I'll have to face another series of disappoinment.
Which I hardly show, but feel so deeply inside, everytime.

A wave of emotion struck me upon reaching home.
I guess I know the reason why myself.

damnits.

2009-02-10T00:31:00.003+08:00

I don't like it when I have to do something that isn't the person I am.
Yes, I know it's a management skill.
But I can't abandon all my sense of emotion and be a robot.
This is hard for me.

Tobi Bdae...=))

2009-02-08T00:18:00.004+08:00

Where are you, my boy?

Anyways, I know I said that I'll post something up when the sun shines again right.
But too bad now the moon is taking over.
Hahaha.

Anyways, what I wanted to blog about was about Tobi's Birthday Celebration.
Which Jenny, Seri and I held on Friday, after Gin's Dance Class.
It's kind of late, since his day was actually on Tuesday.
But we just couldn't get all 4 of us together until two days ago.
And yeah, we were like only half planned.
And what's worse was that, our plan kept getting disrupted.
So in the end, it was based on our 3 cute and brilliant brains, that thinks of nonsensical plans(that works) to save our show.

Seriously, I'm proud of us. Awww.. =P
So yeah, instead of cake, we had sandwiches to give to him.
And we lit the candles on the sandwiches.
Told you, we really are cute.
HAHAHAHAHA!

But how the celebration went was a bigger wonderment.
And will for sure end up being one hell of a memorable one.

And Tobi, we do love you!
And we are here for you.
And my post is supposed to have more pictures.
But you aren't online. Hmph!
It's okay. Hahaha.
I'll expect it to come soon.
I've got this one, which I'll dedicate to you. =)

And I'm hooked to this piece, all of the sudden.
Hahaha, as if.

Valerie - Mark Ronson Feat. Amy Winehouse

Complain Yok!

2009-02-07T04:21:00.005+08:00

I'm just here to complain.

First things first.
Ouch.
My feet really hurts at the bone there.
Some of you probably know where.
But right now, the feeling when I try to massage it, makes me feel a little faint.
And it cracks, or clicked every few seconds when I move my bog toe about.
Darn.

Secondly.
I hold on to a difficult job.
A task, that is troublesome.
If only I can run over to the quiet country side.
Dream on.
=,="

Thirdly. I can't send out freaking emails.
I received an email stating that there's error and whatever shit.
It was so long and weird and alien-ish, I deleted it straight, afraid it was virus.
Now I feel stupid.
Thanks.
=,="
I figure I will have problem publishing this post too.
Which in the end, you won't even get a little sneak peak of this crap.
Cause I won't care if it doesn't get published.
If it does, oh wow, lucky you.

Fourthly.
Right now.
Yes, I'm tired.
Finally I can go visit Snoozeland.
Just when I'm starting to get cranky.
Yeah, shut up.

Bye.
And a better update will come.
Once the sun shines again.
I promise.

I want your hug now, but I can't get it. Shit.

I WANT TO SLEEP LAH PLEASE!

2009-02-04T03:29:00.003+08:00

One of the worst things that could happen to a human being in the wee hours of the night.
Is when you're tired, and you're in deep need of snore-time.
But you just can't get it.
Even after efforts and efforts of trying and forcing yourself.
All thanks to the body discomforts that one just had to bear.

Thank you lower backache.
Thank you sexy tummy cramps.
Thank you butt which feels like shitting the whole time but can never shit.
You made me wake up alot the previous night.
Then this night, you are just really the true definition of I-didn't-sleep-a-wink.
Whatever shit I'm saying in that sentence, I have no idea.

I listened to music.
I danced in the dark.
I drank a cup of warm Milo.
I read 50pages of the storybook.
I sat in the living room from 1am till 3am.
I became cranky I stopped replying Hakim's SMS.
I looked at my ugly, dehydrated, almost-dead face in the mirror.
I started to tear up.
I end up blogging.
What more do you want, Pain?
Why can't you leave me alone?
Oh my God!
And I start talking to Pain.

Yes Mummy Aminah is right.
All these makes a person seem like one hell of a depressed kid.
Tonight, I'm it.

And I wish Dad, A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Time

2009-02-03T01:48:00.004+08:00

Time can sometimes be a little on the bad, naughty side.
Especially cause right now, it isn't on my side.
Well, we've all heard of the phrase, "So much to do. So little time.".
True as it is.
I'm in such a state.
What's worse is, I feel ...
I feel like, this issue will drag for quite a while.
This holiday, pardon me, is a piece of shit.
I can feel it already.
Cause no, I don't have time to spend with friends.
With those friends who I don't get to hang out much with for a very long time.
Don't get me wrong.
I love Dance People.
Wonderful bunch they truly are.
And I adore to see them daily.
But, of course everyone has other friends in their lives.
Which, they would want to spend time with sometimes.
And with the stupid-many-things-that-aren't-stupid that are coming up.
I just seem to have to cancel every single outing plan that I have.
Why do I have to cancel?
Because I make plans when informations slips out of my mind.
Very bad thing to do.
My apologies.
And congratulations to me.
I'm repeating a very horrible mistake.
These late nights.
Disappointing.

Anyways, I had a great day today.
I mean yesterday.
Alot of piggybacks.
Alot of dancing.
Alot of hugging.
Alot of loving.
Very tiring though.
I was a happy child.

Goodnight World.

misses and misses.

2009-01-31T19:24:00.002+08:00

It's not just a little bit of I-miss-you.
It's alot.
I really do.
So, where are you, mister?
Where are you?

Look at me. I know I'm fly. =P

2009-01-29T22:36:00.004+08:00

Really, my jeans must have shrunk.

Teaching my choreography to the darlings today was fantastic.
No, I'm not a person who can teach well.
But I tried.
And I'm glad that it worked out well.
I'm happy.
And I love y'all.
Now, let's merge our brains and choreo further into the song.
It's the spirit of togetherness, isn't it?
Hehe.

Bored of me? Pfft

2009-01-27T13:17:00.004+08:00

I don't get this.
What is enough?
What satisfies you?
I've done alot.
Too much, that I'm too tired.
I haven't rested much.
With the many chores to carry out.
I did more than I've ever.
Yet, you see nothing of it.
And there goes your accusation of my uselessness.
No, you don't get to say that you're "Bored of"' me.
Cause I'm the one who did more than you.
So I'm the one who gets to say that I'm bored of you.
But no matter what.
At the end of the day.
It is still me.
Me who does those things.
Not you.
Even after what you said to me.
About me.

ERIN McCARLEY - Pitterpat -

gaa gaa goo goo

2009-01-23T21:45:00.005+08:00

I officially dislike Mum's friends.
No offence, but really, what the hell.
Coming over without giving notice.
Do they think this is a fucking shopping centre?
And they even demanded to come in.
I felt like shutting the door and go back into my room.
Fuck them.
I'm tired and sleepy, simple a human zombie.
And in turn I had to make them coffee!
I don't know how to make coffee for God's sake.
I mean, I can make coffee for a cup's measurement, not a sexy big jug.
And even after I'm done with coffee, some of them said, "Oh I don't drink coffee."
Fuck you!
Fussy ass.
Irritating man.
Trying to insult my coffee, is it?
I love coffee, Bitch!
I'm so turning cranky. Pfft.

Anyways, today's the last day of school.
So the 10weeks vacation rolls in.
I'm not sure if I'm going to enjoy it.
I really hope so.

And about Mum.
She is going to be fine.
But I'm still worried.
I love Mum.
She is fat and cute.
I get to hug her alot just to escort her to and fro places.
And it touches me that, yesterday, for the first time ever, she rested her head on Abang's shoulder.

Ok enough said.
I'm off to laundry.
Yet again.

Oh and good thing.
They're fucking leaving.
Amin.
But they had to 'advise' me, "Jangan kasi Mak buat kerje banyak-banyak tau.".
Wow, like I'm going to torture Mum to do many many things.
I've been telling her to sit or lie down every single time she gets off her bed.
So shut your trap, lady!

Goodbye.

=P

2009-01-21T22:50:00.005+08:00

Oh! I so so so want to blog bout today.
But I'm just too tired.
And I need to go take my shower already.
But ok, a short post.
Highlights of the day.

Woke up late.
Like super late.
At 8:45am.
Opps.
Ended up at McDonalds, meeting up with dear clique.
Decided to skip class on the way to school, & ended up sending ONLY Aminah to class to get her attendance.
Saw Farhan Shah, twice that morning itself.
Oh, it sure made the day brighter. Hahaha!
Stayed at the canteen most of the time of the day.
Layed on the stage while singing out with Deni. Hahaha!
You better give me the picture babe.
"If I were a boy, I want to be a girl." was what I told some interviewer. =P
Played Taboo, super fun, with the usuals in the Library.
Farah Hanis was at E4, so we hugged long long and tight tight, & screams.
I basically just threw my bag down and ran over to her. HAHA.
And we went home together.
Just like old times.
Except this time, there was Kimmy & Hamster.
Yet, it was fun, and crazy.

I feel high anyways, despite the uber exhaustion.
Thanks Zee for conducting the Groovy Session.
It was super duper fun.
Should have it again some day.
=)

So now, I'm worn out.
Due to yesterday and today.
But so worth it! =)
& my nose is dripping. =,="
Goodnight.
Off to shower.
Yay.

Miscommunication (Feat. Keri Hilson & Sebastian) - Timbaland

Updates yo!

2009-01-19T14:52:00.008+08:00

Friday.
Of course, I skipped class.
Reached the school premises too late, considering the fact that I would be leaving early.
That said, going to class partial means I'll be getting an F anyways.
So, it was the day where we had our little performance at Mr & Miss RP competition.
Not that I care a little bit as to who the contestants are.
We, as usual due to those last-minutes situations, screwed up big fuck.
We we "rubbish".
Thank you.
But jolly well know that we enjoyed ourselves so much.
And I'm most happy cause Dale surprised me by coming to watch the show.
=)
It's so cute that he kept waving at me.
HAHAHA.
=)
Going to miss him so very much when he graduates from RP. The boys. The girls. Faris very unglam sleeping position. HAHA! Told you I'm going to blog this!Farhan Shah. *Squeals*

Saturday.
Funkamania!
The journey to the place of event was horrible.
I can't believe that we actually got lost in NUS.
Yeah it's super huge.
2taxis & 2buses needed just to get to Sheares Hall.
Zzz.
But well, worth going for it was a very awesome competition to watch.
A little intimidating for me cause I suck, I know.
Anyways, congratulations to SGC for making it through to the finals.
Yay. =)

Oh and thanks so very much Ravin for the bike ride home.
Well, of course we didn't go straight home.
We pit stopped at Ragu's relative's event.
A birthday party to be precise.
The looks and the whispers we got from the relatives was really a first time for me.
But I'm very glad I went cause they actually do welcome us with arms wide open.
& we got to eat Nasi Briyani, and Ice Cream. Wows!

Anyways, today.

I should be in class.

Opps.

dear head, tell me about it.

2009-01-18T21:57:00.004+08:00

All I want is to clear out my mind.
I'm thinking something, although nothing is really on my mind.
There's a faint thought, a soft voice inside, which I can't hear.
"What do you want?".
Tell me.

I want to update bout my Friday and my Saturday.
Another day it is then.

Come to think of it.
Maybe, just maybe.
I'm not satisfied with my life.

Goodnight.

RPresenting to the Fullest 2

2009-01-11T13:15:00.018+08:00

RPresenting To Da Fullest 2, is finally over.
Was a blast, from the comments I've heard.
Exhausting yet, worthy of experience.
Job well done everyone in the Committee, as well as the performers.
=) Team I/Cs.SGC Danzation Guest Performers.SMC Guest Performers.Mummy Daddy & Co. The end.

When night came, I don't think I know what I was talking most of the time.
I'm sorry for the sarcasm, but I enjoyed it.
Errr...or was I supposed not to?
Hmm. Maybe I enjoyed it cause it's still chatting with you.
Yeah shut up!
Anyways, I know you don't see me as what you saw me a week ago any longer.

Later on, Atuk is coming.
Seriously, as some of you would know, I'm not close to my grandparents.
So yeah, I'm so not looking forward.
Especially when, due to their visit, I need to do many things.
Clear this, & clean that.
Ergh.
I want to rest!
I'm flushed like a toilet bowl.
Tsk.

Now, I want to go eat my Prata.
Bye.

Stare at me more if you miss me.

liar liar pants on fire...not...

2009-01-09T23:21:00.003+08:00

So I guess you're saying that I'm a liar.
That the time I need is for me to structure lies to tell you.
Nevermind.
It's what you think.
I understand you don't know what goes through my mind everytime.
I wouldn't blame you.
It's okay. I respect your thoughts.
At this point in time, I don't think there's even a use to talk about it anymore.
You are just going to have doubts about what I'll tell.
So maybe, you can quit waiting for me to talk, cause it's useless, don't you think?

Tomorrow.
RPresenting To The Fullest 2.
At RP of course.
As much as I can't wait, I honestly dread making my way to school.
Just like everyday.
Just like everyday.

But guess what, I stayed all through in class paying attention today despite it being Science lesson. Proud of me, right? *Grin*
Thank you all who made me laugh today.
And sorry Mr. Human Being for bumping into you at the queue in the bank today. Haha!

Goodnight.

I'm good at forgetting to eat, yet again.
And I lost count of the constant headaches I've been having just for this week.
*Sigh*

Errrr....

2009-01-08T21:35:00.005+08:00

My sexy sexy Seri. I'll never let go of your hand, Love. =)

And we ended the conversation with six packs muscles on the upper arm.

Like errr... =P

Things aren't getting any better.

I don't know who I am, being in such a state I am in.

I need time for myself.

To think. To relax.

*Sigh*.

Argh. Whatever.

I need to breathe.

I feel like going to the beach, hear the waves.

I feel like going over to some country fields, and just listen to the breeze as I watch herds of sheep pass by.

I KNOW!

I should read some books!

Always tend to help.

Anyways.

I'm looking around for jobs.

Money is an issue that has entered my mind for the past few months.

Especially this week, I feel it's even tighter.

Haiyo.

Zamak! I need you.

Although I know you don't read my blog.

HAHAHA!

By the way, sorry all who I made worry bout me going missing today.

I didn't mean to.

Oh and I can't wait for tomorrow and Saturday.

=) Yay.

All I'm hoping is to be able to keep my ass in class tomorrow.

My mood & concentration is importantly needed.

I'm disappointed with myself for the past 2days.

Maybe this is how you feel.

The Reason Why - The Click Five

sigh.

2009-01-07T20:57:00.005+08:00

As soon as I flopped onto my bed the moment I reached home, I thought I would never get up again.
So exhausted, so tired, so sleepy, feeling so dead.
Annoyed easily, pissed off easily.
And current conditions aren't helping me.
Trying to smile & laugh, but it's hard when not only my mind is in a hurricane.
Therefore these days, don't contribute shit.
It's so going to fuck me off.
Trying to be patient here.

Fad came down to RP's Open House.
Met him for lunch, and we parted.
And suddenly, my handphone died.
And I couldn't get in contact with him again.
Sorry I couldn't help you when you went lost in one of the smallest Polytechnic in Singapore.
Hahaha!
But really, sorry.

Can Mum just shut up?
My earpiece is with Jo, and I can't plug my ears.
How come I just want to scream.
Even though she isn't talking to me, she is speaking so fucking loud to Sis.
Come on, she's sitting just beside you.
Ass.

Anyways, I was shocked to hear the sound of my own fart.
Deni, my facial expression classic not?

Alrights then.
Need to get back to 6th Ps Slides.
If not for UT tomorrow, I'd already be in slumber land by now.

I'm getting a fucking phobia.

cos i had a bad day!

2009-01-06T22:12:00.001+08:00

A freaking bad day for me.
Overslept.
Contacts lens went up into my eye.
Laptop having problems causing me to lose almost 15minutes of UT time.
Sleepy, tired, fucked up, and eyes going shut most of the time.
Hungry.
Felt like puking and fainting while jogging and after.
=,=”

& as I’m typing now, I’m currently outside my house.
One of the unlucky situations contributing to the “oh-so-wonderful” today.
Hungry and I want to shit, yet noones home to let me in, and I’m so clever to leave my pair of keys somewhere in my room.=,=”
Fuck lah! Tsk.

And after just now, I know fully sure that I’m as unfit as a pig.
*Applaud* Congratulations to me.
Thank you peeps and Larry for the support and the care though. =)
I just think I could have done better.
And why the hell did my face look sunburned after the jog.
Super scary. What the hell?

At least class was interesting, despite me making a little fool of myself to the Facilitator.
Oh whatever.
And at least I got to spend a wonderful 2hours(without our notice) with Denisia.
Thank you for spending time with me, babe. =)

Oh my God!
Like finally!
Mum’s back!
Time to shit. Opps.

The little things I just could not forget, because I’m reminded of it every now and then.
Without wanting to. Even though trying not to.

first day of school after 3weeks break...

2009-01-05T15:54:00.006+08:00

So the first day back to school for the final few weeks of Year1.
So far, I'm tired & sleepy, high at times, & bored at other times.
Most of the time, I'm just holding on to the gas in my tummy.
Nope, I did not fart, no worries.
Just thank God there's no BBoy today.
Or you'll know what will happen. Phew.
Hahaha...

Anyways Jenny Seri Tobi, thank you for the laughs.
I miss you guys.
And I love you guys.
=)

Tata.

Regret & Betrayal.
It's what I'm feeling.
Don't ask me about it.
I shan't speak.
Seriously.

total randomness

2009-01-04T02:22:00.004+08:00

To chat with Baby was the only thing I was waiting for the whole day.
Being able to do so, just makes me smile.
Because it's just so carefree and nonsensical and random and many more I guess.

Well, it's most amazing, and surprising I must say, that I actually remembered things about Baby, even way before we were really friends.
The times where we were only mere IG-mates, simply casual.
Those were they days, where, yeah, he didn't even noticed me.
Therefore, he can't even remember the things he did to me.
Zzzz...
And compare that to how we are now.
We of course know more about each other.
And we communicate alot.
And we surely do miss each other every single time.
=))
All I hope is that we'll keep it up.
Okay Baby?

And another thing that got to my mind when chatting with Baby.
Yeah, a roach went into his room and he asked me, what if he was one.
Hahahaha! Rrrrrrrright.
.
Okay, so what got into my mind is, what if a person, let's say me, does not exist in this world?
Does the universe remain the same as it is now, or it's totally different from it is today?
Okay, maybe I'm not much of an impact since I'm seriously an unimportant, lazy person and so if I don't exist it might be better.
.
But okay, what if your bestfriend's mother has never existed? (Pardon me for the example.)
So, let's see. Your bestfriend probably won't exist.
And then you might either be some super spoilt kid hanging out with Bimbos, or you'll be a super coward nerd who sits alone for lunch.
And no, it does not just affect you, it will of course affect others, in some way or another.

For instance, your father who wouldn't be your father since you wouldn't exist, and he will be married to someone else, and might have a handsome son, which might be in my school and then be my interest.

Oh, that part's not really important.
But will it, make the whole universe different?
Okay, this is a question with no answer.
Hahahahaha!

Alright, I'm hungry.
The bear in my tummy woke up and it's growling.
Thanks to Baby for analysing that due to Pet Society, I forgot to eat dinner.
Hahahaha!
See, this is why people die when they play game.
They just forget to eat!
Goodnight.

P/s: This post has Baby written in every paragraph. Baby-inspired. =))

time, you shall pass by.

2009-01-02T16:25:00.003+08:00

3more days.
The day I'm waiting for.
The day where I can feel as if I'm released from imprisonment.
Although going to school feels like entering some mental instituition.
=,="
But if it's a mental instituition, I've got awesome mental(mentel also can.) friends in there who I can't wait to meet and hang out with.
And a mental Baby to hug.
=))

*Snap fingers*
Back to Earth.
I'm so bored now.
What can I do?
If I do chores, it will all go to waste, cause there's no existence of appreciation underneath this roof.
And, to top it up, lies about my effort are happily thrown at my face.
=,="
However, I have no idea why, why I even bother to do them.
I know, it's kind of peaceful without Mum at home, therefore I feel more calm to do chores.
But as she steps into this house, zzz...
Ahhh, fuck it, I need to do something.

Hey this reminds me.
I should start reading all over again.
It's been quite a while since I held on to one, let alone read it.
Hahaha.

Can't wait for the date with my date. =)

Happy New Year.

2008-12-31T21:57:00.005+08:00

Watched Pocahontas just a while ago.
"Savages! Savages!".
Can't help but feel like a child again.
Those fairytale old-time animation movies are just favourites.

So I guess, today's the last day of the year, huh.
Like I've been saying, "I'm not big on New Years.".
Yeah, cause it kind of feel like any other ordinary day.
Or maybe it's just been that way in my home, like since forever.

2008 has been quite a piece of a year.
Many changes for me.
From the structured system of secondary school, to the very "different" kind of system in Republic Polytechnic.
From being a girl who isn't active but can tolerate the heat, to an active(I hope!) dancer who cannot stand when there is no air-con. Ish ish.
From being punctual, to being always late. Tsk tsk tsk.
From sleeping at 10-11pm, to sleeping at 1-3am. Shhh.
From not doing much at home, to doing even less at home. Opps.
I suppose there's more. Haha.

Many memories.
Memories I hope I wouldn't really forget, but I think I don't really remember unless I really start thinking.
Hmm. Yeah. Hahaha.

I miss singing.
Okay, I know this is random, but really.
I'm listening to Torn by Natalie Imbruglia.
And I remember in 2007, I kept singing it with Farah.
I miss those times, and I can't believe I remembered back till that far. =,="
But seriously, this year, is the worse, cause I'm sort of outdated in music!
I barely listen to the radio.
I should be ashamed of myself. Not really.

So 2009.
I'm not hoping for anything in particular.
Just that whatever happens, it will be for the better.
And that whatever difficult or easy situations that comes by, I'll be able to manage them well & that I'll grow with wisdom and knowledge of life. (Right.)
Change-wise. I'm not sure what will change or what will remain.
I just think that some things will for sure be different, yet some others will never change.
Okay, whatever.

Am I blabbering alot?
Well, Baby's out.
And SMSing him on New Year is going to be tough.
Anyway, I wouldn't want to distract him while he's out with his people.
I miss you, Kimmy.
And I think I'll only see him next week.

Which reminds me.
Next week, school is back.
Or rather, it's back to school.
3weeks is super not enough.
And I'm sorry to those whom plans with me are cancelled due to, uhm, me. Opps.
Serious really really.
Tsk.=(

Okay, to avoid me from typing even more in here, I shall sign off.

Happy New Year Everyone. May your 2009 be blessed. =)

Monday and Tuesday.

2008-12-30T22:27:00.010+08:00

Pictures added.:Monday.
Yup. The SGC Sentosa Outing.
Sadly, the number was pathetic.
But oh wells, isn't that what it's like nowadays.
Anyways, it's kind of, sadder, for those who didn't choose to come.
For those who couldn't, it's okay, next time okays. =)

We, those who went, had loads of fun of course.
Volleyball, and swimming, and pictures, and food!
Wow. Hahaha.
Too bad for me, I got some kind of rashes all over my face while swimming, thus had to get out.
Spent most of the time being with Baby. =)
Overall, thank you everyone who made it awesome.
Thank you.

Oh and yeah, Baby, I seriously wished I saw your mum.
I don't know why, but I kinda regret not going up.
And Baby, thanks for being there with me. =)

Okays, pictures wise, nope, have not gotten them.
Wan Ling!!! I want the pictures, like seriously.
Hahaha.
Will upload when I get hold of them.

Tuesday.
Yup. Today.
Woke up like, late?
Not really. I think.
Hahaha.
I woke up feeling sick.
Haiyo.

Oh, I'm currently playing Pet Society, among all the other things I'm doing.
Everyone, meet my Baby's pet.
Cute right?
Hehe. =) (BunnyNaj&Lil.Stuart)

Baby, thank you for opening up to me. Nope, it doesn't change what I see of you.
And I miss you.

My laptop is lagging.

Shit.

Got to restart, or shut down straight.

Goodbye then.

Stand - Jewel

zzz.

2008-12-27T00:30:00.005+08:00

I wasted my Friday by cancelling a promising plan, to do something else which in turn just ruined my mood.
& I just feel like giving up on everything, because everyone just has to give up on me and on us.
& I feel more disasters coming, because of freaking restrictions.

Regret.
Hopeless.
Tired.

Only GA keeping it off my mind.
But still, even the slightest pause of it makes the issues come gushing back into my mind.

Goodnight.

christmas at Kak Endah's.

2008-12-25T23:18:00.003+08:00

Just got home from Christmas Celebration at my relative's house.

Seems like it's going to be an annual event.

And I so love the house, Syaah should know why.

*Winks*

Hahaha.

But Syaah and family wasn't there today, sadly.

Was so looking forward to laughters with them.

Oh, and I am so so so full.

My tummy is so tight, it might just burst.

I had trouble walking and breathing.

Especially yawning and sneezing.

Zzzz.
Like duh it would have happened.

I ate so much lah please.

More than 3 plates please.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Eating so much is so so so very wrong.

Precisely why gluttony is one of the deadly sins.

I personally believe that it is a sin because it made me suffer right now.

I so totally feel like puking even at the word "Eat.".

=,="

Goodnight.

bunnynaj & bboy.

2008-12-24T02:09:00.005+08:00

Hey y'all.
=)

I've just made a Pet in Pet Society in Facebook yesterday.
And currently, this is what BunnyNaj is doing.
(Psst:Exactly what I should be doing. Haha.)
Cute much.
I love it already!
=)

By the way, the BBoy lesson we had today, okay, yesterday, was fun, despite it being tough and painful.
Very painful I must say.
Which reminds me.
I haven't iced my shoulder(s).
Opps.

Anyways, I just want to say, what I told Tobi earlier on.
It was sad for me to go to the lesson today/yesterday.
To find very little of us SGC juniors there.
Only 5 of us, if I'm not wrong.
Yeah, I understand some are overseas, working, or have other valid reasons.
Yeah, I know.
But I hope y'all come back alrights.
I really miss all of us.
Few months ago, when we were all super whack, with no knowledge of breakdancing.
The fact that we were all there, just made it worthwhile and super enjoyable.
Now, going to lessons, motivation lacks, and giving up is easy.

I miss every single one.
Come back okays.
With much love.

friday, saturday, monday

2008-12-22T22:11:00.016+08:00

Friday.
Had practice with the girls for the Saturday's Xmas Taka Performance.
After which we headed over to Ngee Ann Polytechnic to watch Danzation.
Baby was part of it.
=)
All in all, the whole 3hour performance was awesomely fantastic.
Mind-blowing dance moves, and emotional story-lines.
Wow.

Saturday.
My turn to perform with the girls, at the stage outside Ngee Ann City.
A Christmas performance, but basically for the company Scanteak.
The reason why the space which should be for the crowd was filled with furniture.
Exactly, FURNITURE!
Pfft.
How pathetic could that be?
But as time passed, the crowd was humongous!
So scary, the fact that due to no theatrical lighting, I could see everyone in the crowd very clearly, just as they could see me and my mistakes, whcih gladly I had none.
Phew.
And I didn't crash.
Now that's where the satisfaction came from.
Jenny&boyfriend, Aini&boyfriend&friends, and Shi Jia came down to support.
Gladly appreciated, since they are the only people I looked at the whole time I danced to keep me smiling.
=)
Sadly, Baby couldn't come due to 2nd day of Danzation.
And Fad couldn't come because he couldn't get off work.
Nah, it's alright.
It's valid and I sure do understand.
I'll let you see the video once I get hold of them aites.

Monday.
That's today by the way.
Stayed home.
Was supposed to clear my room, but oh boy, I'm feeling weak.
The reason why I hate being on medication.
Tsk.

But I'm so happy that Farah came over.
To pass me something.
Thank you darling!
=)
And yeah, I am so so so glad, that despite being so not intact with each other like we were in secondary school times, we are still so close at heart.
And we just couldn't stop talking.
And gossiping.
And sharing.
And laughing.
Yeah, we should meet up soon alrights.
A picnic sounds so very appealing.
=)

Spiralling - Keane (Live) -

haha...i don't know.

2008-12-20T12:46:00.004+08:00

I feel so weird.
What's happening dude?
Tsk.
This person in my body isn't me.
I'm sad to admit.
Where have the smiles and laughters gone to?
Argh.

Okay, I need to pick myself up.
A.S.A.P.

Sorry all for the way I've been these days.
Sorry all for burdening you with my issues.
I'm going to try, from now on, to not mention about it anymore, and just have fun while y'all are around.
=)

I'm Amirah, and nothing is supposed to bring me down, right?
Okay, lame?
Zzzz...

PISSED LAH FUCK!

2008-12-18T23:04:00.003+08:00

Came home early today, though not so early.
Allowed me some time to like, remember some people.
I know, I've been like too caught up with my life, my situations.
Now, I feel like I've lost touch with girlfriends such as Seri & Jenny.
And the thing is, I miss them.
It's been so long since we've sat and really talked.
I miss those days we had together.
And I miss the brisk walking sessions that we used to have.
I'm outdated with you two.
And I'm sorry.

On another note, I hate being at home.
I hate, hate, hate it.
Some people just can't shut up.
And when the speak, they're annoying.
Keep building issues with me.
Come on, what so difficult about leaving me alone.
Since you guys are so effing great when it comes to ignoring me with my financial needs.

I'm seriously crossing my fingers.
I've got a ticket for Danzation tomorrow.
And I can't believe one moment, it was okay for me to go.
And the next, "Bout tomorrow, I don't know. You ask your Father. If he says no, you don't go."
And it's like, I'm tired and I want to go to bed now, and HE isn't home yet!
So how the heck am I supposed to ask him.
I've no mood to talk already.
How to even ask him, and to answer all his for-sure-will-come questions and lecture.

FUCK LAH!
I'm pissed seriously.
And I'm taking deep breaths since just now, just to keep me away from smashing something into the wall.

Yeah.
Talk about "Oh we parents understand you."
And this is the result of your understanding.
Fucking noobs!
You have no idea people!
No idea.

I'm sorry Hakim for not picking up your call, I don't feel like talking.

i hate this morning.

2008-12-16T11:41:00.003+08:00

I hate the part where we scream at each other.
I hate the part where it affects me.
I hate the part where it spoils the day(s).

True what she said to me, "God knows how long you've tahan.".

This morning, I wished I didn't exist.
I wished someone else would take over my place.
I wished I could stop these tears.

Again (Acoustic) - Faber Drive

....

2008-12-15T22:50:00.002+08:00

So it's been the birthday celebrations these 4days.
From Hakim, to Nenek, to Tarmimie.
Cakes and cakes.
But it's like I just want more.
Opps.
But oh my God, I'm actually eating doughnuts now.
Hahaha.
Oh yeah, Happy Birthday again to these lovely people.

So currently, I'm like, sitting here, thinking of whether to watch Grey's Anatomy or not.
=.="
Maybe I should.
Since I so love it.
But then I'll be hooked to it.
And then Mum would be mad again like she was yesterday.
Tsk.

Okay, I'm seriously blogging crap.
Why?
Because I really wish I could ton(don't know spelling) with the others at Tarmimie's.
Tsk.
But I had to rush home.
And Mr Hakim sweetly sent me home with a cab ride.
Awwww...
=)
Thank you Kimmy Baby.

I'm still mad about someone, I realise.
But I'm also falling for another.
And tonight, they're under the same roof.
What is the term that you can call me?
Cause I want to use it on me.

argh!

2008-12-13T14:48:00.006+08:00

Argh.
I hate the holidays already.
Today is the first day of the 3weeks.
And i can hear your fucking naggings through my earpiece.
I just feel like cutting my throat.
My energy level down, & my eyes stinging, & my nose irritating, & my head throbbing.
I just want to scream.
I've got fucking 3weeks and you talk like I only have today.
Just F-ing SHUT UP!
Aren't you ever tired of making so much noise?
To repeat things over & over again?
To find fault in everything possible though unreasonable and unrelated?

I'm exhausted to even hear you.

Forget about everything else.
You are enough to make my life hell.

uhm.

2008-12-12T23:23:00.004+08:00

Credits to Fad.

Well, it's been a few days since.

So, school is like OVER for the year!

How awesome.

Yay.

So it's 3weeks of school-break before the continuition of another 3weeks of the semester.

Okay, enough bout school.

Today, someone grew ~~older~~.

Right Baby?

Hahaha.

Okay, just hope you like the gift & the card I gave you.

Oh, and I really want to eat ice-cream and drink cold drinks.

But I can't and it sucks.

I should just forget about it.

Tsk.

And Fad, remember you are only role-playing as a daddy okay?

And I've wiped this blog from dust, as you said you found dust.

And I'm very nice.

Goodnight World.

Out.

What's happening?

I don't know.

I don't know what I'm doing.

& I don't know how I feel.

let go.

2008-12-08T23:50:00.003+08:00

Oh my gosh.
I'm so tired.
And so sleepy.
The weekend was an uber lazy one.
Spent weekend at kampung, it's as if I could just be sitting home.
Hmm.

I was told, was made realised of, that I have a problem.
A problem of letting go.
I see it's true.
Very true.
And this problem, it get's to me.

So one thing I need to check on.
Need to take note on.
Is to let go.
I have to learn to let go, slowly, of things.
Here are the 3things.
Of me screwing up.
Of me blah blah blah. Parent's related.
Of me liking you.
Enough is enough.

And boy, do I need a punch in my face to wake me up?

Goodnight.

just dance

2008-12-06T22:44:00.002+08:00

Internet access at home is back again since yesterday.
Phew.

Yeah, it's the weekends.
And it's so going to be a long weekend with Monday being a holiday.
But I don't think it's going to be much of a rest.
Considering that today, I went out.
And tomorrow & the day after, I will be out.
Zzzz.

Anyways, new flash.
I'm hooked to Grey's Anatomy.
Hahaha.
Yeah yeah, I'm outdated whatever shit.
But I don't give a damn.
Cause I like the show.
Haha.

Oh and this is another one I'm hooked to.
Just dance, gonna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-doo.
Just dance, spin that record babe.
Da-doo-doo-doo.
Just Dance ft. Colby ODonis - Lady Gaga

Surprisingly, you came into my mind too many times instead of him.